El Zarape

I realize this review is not going to make me very popular. People adore this place. It’s their sanctum santorum in University Heights. I can see why: It’s a pleasant block in a young, pleasant neighborhood. The decorum is tasteful and artistic. You can sit outside and watch the block’s little dogs come and go, its boughs sway. There is a preponderance of seafood on the menu, as well as tofu and vegetables, so it all feels healthy. There is a salsa bar and free carrots and they serve beer cheaper than the trendier restaurants and bars that line this young, leafy block.

But this is all secondary.

What matters primarily is the food, and the food here, though different, is par for the course, sometimes sub-par. The ambiance will not compensate.

Maybe I’m prejudiced. I once lived a couple of blocks away from the Zarape and I looked forward to haunting it because I had been told what everyone has been told, that the food is really good, even that it’s among the best in San Diego. So, after a long day of moving into my new place, I decided to limp down and get some dinner and I decided that I would get something new to me, a scallop burrito.

The scallops were raw!

Completely raw and cold and slimy—even icy. The guy behind the counter was inconvenienced by this. A few minutes later he was smiling and another burrito, hasty and small, lay on my tray like a dead fish. And it wasn’t very good either.

I’ve said before, you can’t judge a taco shop by one visit. Even great taco shops screw up once in a while. Kitchens are small, hot spaces that churn food out quickly and cheaply, so they must be forgiven once. I forgave. I moved on.

And I returned.

As I said, the menu is peppered with things like scallop burritos, tofu/veggie burritos, potatoes and soy in rolled tacos and burritos, and so forth, so it will have you feeling good.

But these are at best a tertiary consideration; more likely, an illusion.

People love the green salsa at El Zarape and there’s reason for it: people love mayonnaise. I suspect that’s what the secret ingredient is. Everyone likes mayo. It’s a universal, like despising a coward, but people play these little mind games and I presume that most of us know there’s mayo in the green salsa but we all keep mum about it.

(I would like to see some loudmouth ladle out some of the green stuff as he pronounces to his better half so everyone can hear: “Hey, honey, your diet and shit—you know there’s mayo in this green salsa, right? Mayo.” The whole place would rise up and smite him from this earth.)

And seafood might be better for you than beef or chicken or cheese—I really don’t know; it might be—but just because you can put langostina or scallops in a burrito, should you? Second, and critically, we are over-fishing our oceans (still feel good about yourself and your scallop burrito?). And third, you are going out for food, so enjoy it and quit being a narcissist for the moment!

At El Zarape expect your burritos to lack the characteristic San Diego toasted finish. Expect burritos to be small and forgettable. It’s not bad per se. It would be great in San Francisco. Alas …

Anyway, I’ve been to the Zarape many times and I will likely return. It’s close for me and, as I said, it’s a nice block and people love it so I would not turn down the invitation. (I will go in disguise.) But the food has never soared much above par and more than once for me it’s fallen short.

Sometimes par is good enough, especially when it’s convenient or when you’re with a good friend. My larger point is a quibble: Despite what you’ve heard, if you are at all an aficionado (and I presume that you are if you are visiting this site) then you will agree: This is not the best taco shop in San Diego.

El Zarape,
4642 Park Blvd.